If you’re lucky, you have a friend who is always there for you. She drops everything to sit on the couch with you after a bad break up and binge watch This is Us. She motivates you to keep going after you didn’t get the promotion at work. And, she always knows the right thing to say to make you feel better. Most importantly, she checks on you to make sure you’re ok.

But, you have to remember to also check on her. You may think that your friend has a super human ability to let things roll off her shoulders; but the truth is that she is so good at talking you out of pain and disappointment because she has had to do that for herself too many times to count. The reason she knows that she needs to check on you is because she knows that if she doesn’t, you could spiral lower—as she often does.

Your friend may not tell you when she needs you because she knows that you’re dealing with your own issues and doesn’t want to trouble you with hers. So, she smiles and pretends to be fine. But, even when she seems ok, check on the friend that always checks on you because she is dealing with more than you know and she needs you.