As a young woman, finding sources of guidance and information can be difficult. Everyone tells you to find a mentor or cold call a prospective mentor and set up lunch at a trendy restaurant. While having a mentor is reccommended and beneficial, engaging in conversation and asking those around you the right questions can also be very valuable. Rather than simply waiting year after year for a mentor to take you under her wing, get to know those you interact with everyday and you may be surprised at the information you glean from them.

For example,

maybe you always study at a coffee shop in your neighborhood and you always see the same people. You can choose to not say anything to the people you see everyday and keep to yourself while sipping on your latte, or you can get to know those people through small talk. Asking someone their name or simply chatting about the weather can lead to bigger conversations that then lead to meaningful connections. If you make it a point to engage and talk to the barista who makes your extra-foam latte everyday, then maybe, you learn that the barista is the daughter of the coffee shop owner. And, the coffee shop owner owns five other coffee shops and agrees to give you advice on starting and maintaining a successful business because you told her daughter that you are interested in earning a business degree.

A few small conversations here and there can go a long way, and if you make it a point to gather information from all sources, and ask questions when you meet people, then you will end up with a wide network of people who don’t mind passing along their experiences and knowledge.

In almost every professional setting, a handshake is the very beginning of every relationship. Before you say your name and before you forget the names of the people you meet, you shake their hand. So, why is it that so many women have the dreaded “wet noodle” handshake? Rather than a firm handshake, far too many women introduce themselves with the wet noodle handshake. You know the handshake, it is the sad, pitiful, soft handed, broken wrist, handshake. Sadly, this is the fastest way to be labeled as weak, incompetent, or even worse, disinterested. Let’s think about that for a second, before you have an opportunity to say your name, you are already labeled as weak. Before you have a chance to voice your brilliant ideas, you are labeled as incompetent. And, before you have a chance to express your interest during an interview for the job of your dreams, you are labeled as disinterested.

The good thing is, this is an easy fix. All you need to do is make it a point to have a firm handshake.

A firm handshake means you firmly grasp the other person’s hand, you make meaningful eye contact, and you say your name with some assertiveness. Now, I am not saying to  crush the hands of everyone you meet; I am simply saying to embody the person you are: confident, assertive, and competent.

Most of the time, the things that upset us the most are not major life-altering events. Most of the time, we are upset by things so small, that they cause our whole world to come shattering down like a window hit by a pebble that was caught in a lawnmower. Have you ever spilled a little coffee on your shirt and it sent you into a tail spin? Or you finally get a taxi  and are headed to an important meeting, and you hit stand-still traffic and you think your head is going to explode? Everyday, these little pebble-like moments get the best of us and make it impossible for us to handle life’s larger blows. But, how we handle the little things is a big indicator of how we handle the big things.

Because little things are bound to happen to us daily, we can train the voice inside our head to have a calmer response. We can learn to realize that the little things, such as a long checkout line, do not always require as big of a reaction as we tend to give them. If we learn to simply shrug our shoulders and shake the little things off, then we are better able to handle the big things. That’s because when something big does happen—like the dog accidentally eats an entire box of chocolate—we can remain calm, figure out a plan to fix it, and execute the plan without having a toddler tantrum. So, focus on the little things, and be amazed at how you are better able to handle the big things.

Often times, we arrive to work Monday morning bright-eyed and caffeinated, ready to plow through whatever comes our way. Yet, the majority of the time, we end the day exhausted and without having accomplished anything, and we can’t figure out why. This is because we have nothing to show for our hard work and completed tasks. But, when we finish our days having crossed off 4 items on our to-do list, suddenly we not only feel accomplished, but we feel organized and productive.

A to-do list provides guidance throughout the day and prevents us from being easily derailed by every email and distraction. Every time we can cross out and eliminate a task completed, there is a sense of accomplishment that acts as a motivator for us to complete the next task. A to-do list does not have to be an elaborately worded and thought out list on beautiful Kate Spade stationary (although it certainly can be). A to-do list can be as simple as scribbles on Post Its, voice notes on your phone, or task items in your calendar. Either way, a to-do list will undoubtedly keep us on task, and make our Mondays, as well as the rest of the week, productive.